you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
