Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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