I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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