My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
