So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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