It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
