wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
