ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
