How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
