i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize