I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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