I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
