He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
