So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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