Whod you bang
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
