Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i drank out of a bidet.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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