wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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