no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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