Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
this boner is exhausting
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
