I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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