he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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