We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize