question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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