are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize