he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My cat gives me a boner
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
