She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
