Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
