You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
