capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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