I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize