So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Let's paint friendship bongs
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
