guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize