just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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