spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
