OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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