K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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