I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
