when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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