so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All I want is dick and wine.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
