You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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