why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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