I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sorry about my life...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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