So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
