Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
