Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
