you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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