return my video game
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.