i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis