pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
your room smells of hookers.
And success
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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