My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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