ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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