my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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