i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
