we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
high people should be assigned attendants
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
