so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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