sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
